Into Night

She looked so far away
like a picture lost without a frame.
Some mem’ries I buried in a drawer
came back to life today—
I held her hand once more.

Never thought that we would be so close again
after the absence of the years.
Takes me back to when I was a younger man
full of hopefulness and fear.

I feel her breathing.
The blood in her veins
washes away memory of how she went away.

We walk along the shore
in December although it looks like rain.
Weave a path like pairs of migratory birds
taking flight into the grey—
to hide the loss for words.

As the tide erased our footprints in the sand
we tried to trace our way back home.
This reunion isn’t going like we planned:
reminded that we walk alone.

I hear her crying
softly as rain.
Some things left unspoken just don’t go away.

Remember swimming in the river, so cool and green,
on Sundays far away from town?
And when the ring slipped off her finger, diving deeper down
saw one last flash of light
before it sank beyond our sight.

Dreamed I was falling,
caught in mid-air.
I woke up sweating but she wasn’t there.

Before I closed the book my heart needs to be sure.
I had to see her one more time.
We did the one thing that we never could before
we finally said goodbye.

I hear her leaving
long before dawn.
No need to tell me that she’s gone.

I walk the beach alone
like a drifter looking for a home
in the rows of clouds that look like palisades
on the shoreline of my dreams.
I watch them slowly fade,
fade endlessly into night.

©2005 LApp

Cold Outside

The bitter sound of wind through the leafless trees
On the ground, sparrows huddled up against the freeze
I drift away like snow up the side of the hill
Remember days we had flowers on the window sill.

Do you think that I’m crazy
when I tell you there’s fire that’s frozen inside.

The cold wind blows, cuts me right to the bone.
No one knows how my heart is tired of bring alone.
You light the flame that brings the spark back to life
and call my name in this dark and endless winter’s night.

Do you think that I love you?
Well, I tell you the words must be frozen inside.

The bitter sound of limbs breaking through the ice.
Greys and browns tangled on the frosted window glass.
Trapped inside with loneliness as my friend.
Can’t decide to open up the door and let you in.

Do you think that I need you?
Well, I tell you my love must be frozen inside.

©1972 LApp

Timeless

It's the time of day
that I need someone.
When I rise and shine
your already gone.
So much things to do;
got the bills to pay.
It's a busy life.
The time slips away.

Seems we're always sayin' goodbye--
someone's leaving.
Be assured we'll make it through
but is it worth believing?
I don't know
where the time goes.
I just keep on hanging on
waiting 'til the time we say hello.

It's the time of night
lovers entwine.
Though I want you so
we just can't find the time.
In the space between
there must be a compromise
to ease the loneliness
that I see in your eyes.

Chorus

It's the time of year--
spring is in the air.
Lovers arm in arm--
it's just like we don't care.
As I hold you near
you look so far away.
Time takes its toll:
there's nothing left to say, except

that we'll be saying goodbye--
someone's leaving.
Be assured we'll make it through
but is it worth believing?
I don't know
where the time goes.
I just keep on hanging on
waiting 'til the time we say hello. Please don't go.

©1987 Lawrence App

Nothin Sacred

Staring at the sky, hoping for some rain
The tears well in my eyes—wash away this pain.
Trouble in the air—the smell of burning trees.
They stripped the hillsides bare, spreading the disease.

You tell me nothin’s sacred.
I don’t believe that it’s true.
If there’s nothin’ sacred
you know that we’re all through.

Staring at the sky, forgotten how to pray.
A deeper shade of blue fades into the grey.
Rows of trophy homes convenient to the mall:
but just like cancer loves the bone, feed it to the sprawl.

You tell me nothin’s sacred.
I don’t believe that it’s true.
If there’s nothin’ sacred
you know that we’re all through.

©2005 LApp

Loss and Separation

Cloudless, starless, helpless, emptiness.
Nothing left to cling to but my old ways.
Trying desperately to make these feelings go away.

Thoughtless, heartless, leafless wilderness.
Watching how the tender heart grows cold.
Even April’s tender blossoms wither and grow old.

Nameless, shapeless, confess always less.
Running ever faster just to catch up to my fears.
Never find the answer between the joy and tears.

Endless darkness, hopeless, groundlessness.
In everything we’ve lost we’re reminded what we gained.
This feeling of apartness really makes us more the same.

©2007 LApp

Wash Him Down

He lifts the rain with just one hand,
saluting the sky.
For fifteen years he watched his father’s land
now the clouds bid him goodbye.
The sweet green fields have been reduced to dust--
they barely had survived.
Now the rains wash out everything
and the muddy waters rise.

It’s gonna wash him down.
It’s gonna break him down.
When the skies open wide
and roots pull from the ground
the wheel of life keeps turning ‘round.

Remembered when he owned a saxophone
and practiced it for hours.
Playin’ Coltrane and the country blues
among the rows of flowers.
Til mama handed him the keys one day
and said “we really need you here.”
His hands grew thick like his father’s hands
now he cries his daddy’s tears.

Chorus

He says forgive for what I didn’t know
and what I’ve never been.
The muddy water curls down the drain
as it washes off my skin.
In the evening hear the locusts’ song
keening sweet and low like violins.
Spirit voices lead him down the road:
He had to feel his daddy’s pain
Not to live it out again.

Chorus

He only prayed for a little rain.

©2003 LApp

Green

Green, all I see is green—
tiny buds and blossoms
opening to Spring.
I’ll lay down in the grass, cross my arms behind my head
fold my jacket for a pillow, forget everything I said.
Staring into nothing and everything.
Bending like a willow in the winds of time
if I can just stay green.

Green, the water is so green.
Tiny fish and bubbles
adrift in the saline.
Floatin’ on my belly givin’ gravity a break
feels like I’m dreaming but I’m wide awake.
Swimming past the shallows into the deep.
Flowing like a wave into a sea of life
if I can just stay green.

When I walk the city sidewalks know it brings me down
the color of my dreams turn black, grey, and brown.
With my head so full I cannot see a thing
until I learn the art of forgetting.

Green, color me in green.
Emerald and verdigris and every shade between.
When my days are over and you lay me in the ground
cover me with clover far away from town
and let the grass grow way up high
and cover me in green.
Lingering after sunset like a flash of light
if I can just stay green.

©2005 L.App

Just a Beginning

It was time to start spending all the rainy days
and a time to start mending all the fences that I break
The day to start naming all the voices in my head.
and a day for reclaiming all the dreams I left for dead.

I waited way too long looking for a sign
like a comet in the sky
or maybe something simpler like the candlelight.
Don’t want to let it pass me by.

It was time to reassemble all the pieces on the floor
A time to stop blaming circumstance beyond control
It was time for the first step down that long and muddy road
A time to launch my prospect into the great unknown.

Just a beginning, a place to start.
I just need the beginning, some place to start.

It was time to start listening to the wisdom of the heart.
Forget about the ending, just help me make a start.
It was time to stop remembering all the thing I might have been.
Just push me off the platform if that’s how it must begin.

I waited all my life looking for a sign
like a twinkling in your eye
or maybe something clear like writing in the sand.
Don’t want to let it pass me by.

Just a beginning, a place to start.
I just need the beginning, some place to start.

©2004 LApp

Spirit Tree Lyrics

Spirit tree, may I lie down in your shade?
I'm hot and tired, my clothes are torn,
can't go another day.
Cooling in your shadow, admit that I have failed and
watch my apprehension suspended in your green.
Can I lay down in your bed of grass and roof of leaves?

Spirit tree -- shelter from the day.
That evil sun, unblinking eye,
I'll make him take the blame.
A victim of my passions, the voice of no restraint;
feverish obsessions, my own worst enemy
Will you lead me down a path of songs
to a field of dreams?

Kerosene flowing in my veins
The heated words, the angry lies,
I'm too close to the flame.
A primitive reaction poisoning my brain and
clouding up my vision - burns like acrolene.

Spirit tree, your branches open wide.
Hold me close and bring me water,
my throat is clenched and dry.
Beyond your shadow we all come back to you:
the grasses bow their heads in prayer,
heavy with the dew.
Will you dress me in your robe of clouds and hat of sky?


©2004 LApp