Interview with Lawrence App: Song Writing & Influences

I started writing tunes when I was pretty young. I think I was eleven when I wrote a couple of songs that were complete enough to actually call them songs.

I was really most prolific when I was a teenager, maybe because I didn't know that much and the editorial part of me wasn't that strong where I was kind of censoring things out before they'd have a chance to bloom. I was still pretty exacting within the realms of what I knew, even as a teenager when I was writing music. The prolific part of it could have been for a couple of reasons, because I didn't have much else to do besides school. Although, I don't know I was pretty busy, so I don't know if that was a good argument, but also I didn't have any other outlet really, my family was really disfunctional and I was really disfunctional and I didn't have ways to express or process or cope with a lot of the things going on in my life. So for me, the way to do that was to put it in songs.

I was looking back. Fortunately I saved some notebooks. There's not many recordings of the songs, so all I have is the words, and maybe some chords, but I don't remember how a lot of the songs go. I think, say from the time I was 15 until I was 18, I probably wrote a couple of hundred songs, quite a few.

When I started traveling and trying to earn my living playing music and gigs, I had to spend more of my musical time getting better at playing. Getting more proficient on guitar and singing because the standards were higher if I really wanted to get paid enough to earn my living from it. And I had to be able to play other people's music well. I didn't really, when I got my first gig playing out, when I was 18, my first really professional full time gig, I didn't know very much music, so I'm really fortunate that they hired me and gave me a chance to learn this stuff. Fortunately a couple of the guys in the band had faith enough in me that they knew I was a smart guy and picked up things fast, and if I put my mind to it I could do it, but my output decreased dramatically from that time. From writing maybe 50 songs a year to writing ten, which is still... now I write even less than that, although I would be happy with ten songs a year now.

I did, I was in a band, the last year or two I was in high school that was an all original music band and we did a couple recording sessions, but they weren't very good. We weren't in a professional studio. It was a guy we knew had a studio in his house, and back in those days, his recording was really pretty crude, especially by today's standards, so that output, a little bit of it survives, but it's really not very good. When I say not good, you can't even really make out some of the instruments and stuff very well. But I went back an re-recorded it, and tried to be as faithful to the original arrangements as I could. So I have some of that available. I called it L. App 71-73. A fairly unimaginative title, but that's what it is. I think there's only 8 songs on it. I have others that I would like to add to it. I would like to record more of it.

Part of the reason that I never really put that CD out commercially was that it seemed like it was too short. It was only like 30 minutes of music, but when I look back on that era, there were albums that were shorter than that.

When I was a teenager and writing a lot, I guess in the back of my mind was a concern that I wanted people to hear the music, but I wasn't so concerned with playing out, and that kind of stuff. In fact, it kind of terrified me, because I hadn't really performed that much in public, but once, say I was in my twenties, and I had been playing a lot, publicly for a while, I guess a concern for me, or part of the inspiration for writing was that I felt, like if I was just writing the music for me, and it was stuff that was going to kind of mold away in my own archives, it just wasn't really, it wasn't enough inspiration for me to keep writing that way anymore, as it was when I was younger.

Having an outlet, or even a prospective outlet made it easier for me to write. So when I was in my twenties and I started doing the Latin music and then the Carribbean music in general, I immersed my self in a number of those styles of reggae and Brazilian music, and calypso to a lesser extent, and salsa too, even earlier than the reggae or Brazilian stuff. I really immersed myself in those musics because I loved it. For whatever reason it really moved me, but as a result of being immersed in it, it started coming out in my own song writing.

Also playing in some bands, kind of commercially, in the sense that we were out in the public getting paid to do what we do, that was my main venue or outlet for writing. A lot of my own songs started taking on that character. That sounds passive... I don't know... it seemed like it was just happening, but on a subconcious level I think I was really trying to, hopefully write a song that sounded like something that Milton Nascimento would have written or something that Bob Marley would have written.

Video: Lawrence App Performing "It's Easy"

Interview with Lawrence App: Musical Studies & Performing

An Interview with Lawrence, Picking up from the October 5th Multi-Instrumentalist Post

I don't know if quantity alone is worth anything. A lot of the gigs have been commercial gigs, but my tally of total number of gigs is somewhere between 7 and 8,000 in my life so far. I still perform quite a bit. I probably perform a couple of hundred times a year, which is a lot, especially compared to a concert musician that may only do fifty shows a year. So I have to be concerned with conserving my energy and my vocal chords and my fingers, all the mechanical parts that go into my playing the instruments, otherwise I am dead in the water; I can't do anything.

I studied music some when I was a kid. In fact my parents insisted that I study piano for a couple of years, when I first wanted to learn to play music; that was the prerequisite to me getting a guitar. So I learned to read music a little bit. I took guitar lessons briefly, I didn't really care for it, so they let me off the hook with that. But I did continue to study voice through highschool, maybe not junior high. I did both choir at my church as well as sang in the choir in high school. It was helpful, so at least I had some familiarity with the dots, with standard musical notation on the staff.

But I totally got away from that. I went on the road when I got out of highschool, playing in some commercial bands, and some of them were cooler, like Latin, Caribbean bands and jazz groups and stuff like that. I had to be able to read chord charts but it wasn't necessary most of the time for me to read standard notation.

I was pretty succesful at least from the stand point of earning a living, but I hit a point, in my late twenties, or around the time when I turned thirty, that I felt like I was stagnating musically. I was still writing music. At that point I had written, oh, several hundred tunes, recorded some of them, but I just, there wasn't anything new coming in. I had learned a lot from some of the.... especially when I was young I tried to work with older musicians, people at least older and more experienced than me and kind of apprentice myself to them, in one way or the other. So I learned quite a bit that way, but I just kind of reached a limit on what I could do studying that way. So that's when I decided to go back to school.

I wasn't even really planning on studying music when I first went to college, but I gravitated towards music and earned a few degrees. I got a bachelors in Jazz Studies from the University of North Florida which was a really great experience, because there were a lot of good musicians there; a lot of good players, some of them even quite a bit younger than me, but really, really really good. Kevin Bales, Marcus Printup, were a couple of guys that went on to become... actually there were quite a few, Doug Wamble is another guy that moved to New York. Quite a few of them have gone on to be pretty successful in the Jazz world.

The faculty was really great too. The learning curve... it just opened up a whole universe of music, that I knew was there, because I'd listened to jazz, and I'd learned what I could through learning by ear and the mentor/protege relationships kind of things that I had but, studying at UNF, gave me, really just that experience of two or three years there gave me enough stuff there to work on really for the rest of my life. Pretty amazing.

I continued on. Did some graduate study at Florida State and got a graduate degree in Ethno musicology. Had a few articles published as a result of the research that I did while I was there. The school of music at Florida State is usually ranked in the top ten in the country I believe. I was fortunate that I didn't have to move too far from my daughter, because the University of North Florida in the Jazz education world, was the same thing, probably in the top five, it's always really highly acclaimed.

It was in relatively close distance to where my daughter lived and meant that I could also work at some of the venues I'd been working at, so I could still have a decent income while I was going to school. I was a single dad, performing three times a week and going to school full-time; so it was kind of a busy time.

One of the sort of ironic or serendipitous things about going to school at Florida State, when I was in the ethnomusicology program there, eventually you have to pick your major area of study and a minor area. Usually they prefer, not just Florida State, but any ethonomusicology school, prefers that it be contrasting geographical areas, just so you have some diversity in your portfolio. I really didn't know, for a while I thought I was going to do some kind of West African music or possibly Indonesian music as my major field of study. South African was also another possibility that came up that I did some research on. Afro-Columbian music from Columbia South America, in fact that was one of the articles I had published, was from research I did on that.

I kind of came full circle back to the Caribbean music that I had performed commercially for many years. I guess it was Michael Bakan, once again, my closest ally amongst the faculty there, said, "Why don't you just do the steel drums? You already know a lot about it, and there's not a whole lot of research out there." So I decided to go about it, but the irony about studying the steel drums and doing my thesis on that was when I was out doing my field work, observing the guys playing steel drums, not to offend anyone, but a lot of the people I saw, I thought, "Well I can do that!"

It had this whole mystique about it, because I had worked with some really excellent steel drummers in my own band, guys that had played with Jaco Pastorius and some really, one of the guys was the Trinidad National Steel Drum Champion back in the sixties. So these guys were at the top of their game. So that was my idea, you had to be that good to play steel drums, but when I got out and had a broader cross section of the musicians, at least in Florida, that were out playing steel drums, that's when I had the idea, "I could probably do that."

When I finished my master's degree at FSU, instead of pursuing further research on the steel drums or doing something else, I got back into performing and decided to start playing steel drums and it's turned out to be a really great thing. I enjoy it and it's also been good from a financial stand point because there's still a lot more room to move in that area. There's not that many guys doing that compared to something like guitar, when there's literally millions of people playing guitar.

[Note: Here's an interesting history of Steel Drums.]

Lawrence App Performing at The Garlic

Lawrence App performs at The Garlic in New Smyrna Beach on Wednesday December 3rd.

THE GARLIC, 556 E. Third Ave., New Smyrna Beach. 386-424-6660. Jazz guitarist/vocalist Lawrence App, 6-10 p.m. Wednesday.

Intro to the Dark into Light CD, 2004

This project by singer/multi-instrumentalist Lawrence App, Dark Into Light, (DIL) was released in December 2004. In an era defined by category fragmentation and hyphenated styles, the disc's nine tunes take stylistic turns somewhere between the realms of acoustic pop, jazz, and world fusion-but in ways pretty unique to Lawrence's background.

Originally from a home of jazz musicians, he spent many years on the road and in clubs playing in show bands and reggae groups before returning to school to earn degrees in jazz studies and ethnomusicology. This first solo effort by Lawrence strikes the balance between street-wise and studious; between the visceral and the ethereal, framed in the shifting musical textures and thoughtful lyrics of Dark Into Light.

The albums centerpiece is Lawrence's vocals (Songwriter Showcase of America's Best Male Vocalist of the Year award in 2004). His low tenor range can morph from funky jazz to a breathy ballad sound from one track to the next. In addition to singing and writing most of the material on DIL, Lawrence plays nearly a dozen different instruments. His main axes are acoustic and electric guitar, but throughout the disc he plays bass, keyboards, steel drums, drumset, congas, and various other hand drums like the djembe, dumbeq, and asiko.

Some fine musicians, many of them long-time associates, added to the musical depth of the project. Eric Mason (of Windjammer) deftly handled the intricate but funky drumming on three tracks (think Manu Cache). One of Jacksonville top session men, Scott Rademacher added some sizzling saxophone work on four cuts. In addition Peter Miles, Dan Walters, and Jonathan May among others contributed some fine playing.

As for the nine tunes on DIL, Lawrence's songwriting and arranging provide numerous twists and unexpected turns. [Song links go to YouTube video performances where available, and otherwise, you can listen to sound tracks on the CD Baby site.]

The album starts off with "Like Sunshine", an uplifting, danceable tune inspired by Gilberto Gil and Papa Wemba, but is immediately followed by the haunting Keith Jarret-ish instrumental "Lake Alice".

The third cut, "Bassline", may be the most radio-friendly tune, reminiscent of some of Sting's or Steely Dan's work.

"Lindsey" is a beautiful acoustic ballad featuring steel drums and written for his daughter.

"Dreaming", another world/pop/jazz tune is next, followed by the almost New-Age "Harmony Rag."

"Long Gone" is a catchy not-pop tune in 5/4 inspired by Milton Nascimento and featuring some Santana-ish guitar work.

The one cover tune is what Lawrence calls his "Daniel Lanois" arrangement of Duke Ellington's "Fleurette Africaine" (from Money Jungle).

The final cut is a Joni Mitchell inspired ode to nocturna called "Middle of the Night" (with apologies to John McLaughlin).

(content same as that on CD Baby DIL intro)

Like Sunshine

I feel the world slipping off my shoulders,
an open road lies out ahead.
I know that the days are getting longer.
The buzzing song of summer fills my head.

It's like every voice I hear is
singing like sunshine.
I feel your warmth shining on my face.
A wordless smile says everything's okay.

When it seems that darkness has filled this place
you 'll know in time it's best to walk away.
I turn my ear to the sky, it's
singing like sunshine.

Like sunshine--hear it in the children's laughter.
Like sunshine--or lose it in the moment after.
Like sunshine--dressed up in red, green, and gold.
Like sunshine--something kind of spiritual like sunshine.

It's like the feeling I once had for my mother
or a friend I haven't seen in years--
a love so deep I can't repeat its name.
The prodigal's face reappears.
All at once I recognize the
singing of sunshine.

Chorus

Sometimes when your memory fades away
and darkness fills my thoughts like a dozen rainy days.
Feels like I'll always be alone but
if I made it this far I'm gonna find my way home.

Hey, sunshine
I haven't seen you in a long time.
Why won't you chase the shadows from my mind.
Though I can't make you stay
I know just for today I'll be
singing like sunshine.

Like sunshine--hear it in the children's laughter
Like sunshine--or lose it in the moment after.
Like sunshine--dressed up in red green and gold.
Like sunshine--looking so beautiful.
Like sunshine--she's so spiritual like sunshine.

LApp: vocals, acoustic guitar, bass, keys
Eric Mason: drums
Scott Rademacher: soprano sax
Jonathan May: cello
Chuck Stites: violin, viola

Bassline

The freezing wind burns his face
as the sidewalk leads him on.
His skin turned hard from years in the city.
And dreaming of some distant place
he drifts off like a song--
forgotten but for a trace of a melody.

His memory lives in the bassline.
The city moves to the bassline.
Stripped down to the core,
no time for dreams of home--

Never hears from friends or family.
It washes over him once more,
a wave of solitude--
dissolves into an urban symphony.

His memory lives in the bassline.
The city moves to the bassline.
His heart and soul's in the bassline.
Stay close to the ground with the bassline.

Maybe some bright and sunny day
His voice will rise above the crowd,
but when the smoke has cleared away
his roots live underground.

His memory lives in the bassline.
The city moves to the bassline.
His heart and soul's in the bassline.
Stay close to the ground with the bassline.

LApp: vocals, acoustic guitar, bass
Eric Mason: drums
Scott Rademacher: solo tenor sax
Ray Guiser: sax section
Pete Waidelich: trumpet

Lindsey

Feels just like the first time that I ever fell in love;
I never will forget the day she came.
Someone so small has caused everything to change.
My friends said things will never be the same.

I found my life illumined in a different shade of light.
Her little voice is like a song to me.
She smiles as if we'd known each other somewhere long ago.
I always knew her name would have to be

Lindsey, like flowing water
Lindsey, she's my daughter
Lindsey, I love her.
Lindsey.

Then before I knew it she had gone out on her own,
I never thought the day would come so fast.
I trust our love is stronger than the turning in the world.
I know I can't keep living in the past.

The more we grow apart I see how much we are the same.
When I look at you I look at me.
I wish that I could hold you close like when you were a child
and still pretend we are a family.

Lindsey, you know I miss her.
Lindsey, I long to kiss her.
Lindsey, know I love her.
Lindsey.

Things I hold so near and the ones I love so dear,
one by one I've had to let 'em go.
But save this time together before life goes moving on
because we're all God's children here below.

And when I see you eye to eye I know we'll meet again
like the rivers flowing to the sea.
If absence makes the heart grow fonder it doesn't stop the pain but
because my love is strong I set you free.

Lindsey, yes I love her.
Lindsey, like no other.
Lindsey, yes I miss her.
Lindsey.

LApp: vocals, acoustic guitar, congas, asiko, dumbeq, steel drums

Dreaming

Every day it's the same old thing:
a struggle just to walk out my front door.
Every day leaves me wondering
what I'm really working so hard for.

If there is a reason
and a time for every season
why is the picture so obscure?

Every time I fail
when I try to pierce the veil.
Illusion is secure.

Everything is it's own reward:
posessions are like props upon a stage.
Everything winds up so absurd:
the show must go on just to earn a wage.

I work my life away
and I still can't seem to pay
the price exacted for some peace of mind.

When my life is through
and the payment's overdue,
gonna leave it all behind.

Everybody that I have known
when I look into their eyes they mirror me.
Everybody winds up all alone
left to reconcile with destiny.

I tried to find salvation
in the church, the state, and nation;
the promised land is just a fantasy.

My days go slipping by
while I stare into the sky--
verge of insanity...

Every day brings a brand new thing:
I draw the blinds, turn off the morning news.
Every day leaves me wondering
if freedom means there's nothing left to lose.

My mind is running wild
like a hyperactive child.
The burden of this freedom is a scream.

Am I really free?
Oh, my thoughts won't let me.
Am I awake or am I dreaming?

Everyday I'm dreaming.
Everyday is just like dreaming.

LApp: vocals, acoustic guitar
Eric Mason: drums
Scott Rademacher: soprano sax
Dan Walters: fretless bass
Jonathan May: cello

Harmony Rag by Phil Fox

Music in the woodlands, songs in the sea
Whispers on the wind rise in strange melody.
Somedays when it's still; somedays when I will--
I hear quiet voices calling to me.
Music in the sleeping earth
Music in her sighs
Music in the sleeping earth
Singing in the skies.

When you're all alone and the long day is through
Take a little time and you'll find that it's true:
Everywhere you go listen and you'll know
There are quiet voices calling to you.
Music in the sleeping earth
Music in her sighs
Music in the sleeping earth
Singing in the skies.

Phil Fox: song and lyrics
LApp: vocals, piano, acoustic guitar, drumset, percussion
Nandu Muley: tabla
Jonathan May: cello
Chuck Stites: violin, viola
Ray Guiser: flute, clarinet
Peetie: electric guitar

Long Gone

It was like a dream: vapor rising from the ground.
Cleared my eyes to see, nobody else around.
Then I saw you: that’s all it took to believe that
holding close was fun for both of us.
When you say you love me I can't help but wonder why.

I'll see you in another place and time.
It's not a lie to say I need you
but you wouldn't have it; love beyond a habit--it's passion's crime.

I leave you but come back yet another time.
It's hard work, the games you play
you draw me near and then push me away.

Expect me to go on.
I reach out but you're long gone.

Comes into my sleep like someone knocking at my door.
I turn and close my eyes, this yearning that I can't ignore.

Hooked on you and I can't turn myself away.
It's not a lie to say I need you
but you woudn't have it; love beyond a habit--it's passion's crime.
I leave you but we'll start another time.

Chorus
Solo

It's hard work, the games we play
you draw me near and then push me away.
It's too much to go on.
You reach out but I'm long gone.

Fading like the day, memories of loving you.
I think I'll get away; can't admit that we are through.
Through with you, I can't believe,
through with you.
Maybe just today I'll be long gone.

LApp: guitars, vocals, fretless bass
Peter Miles: drums

Middle of the Night

It's not you,
something else is on my mind.

Half past two,
the breeze and the moon invite.
I know sleep can wait
I hear the calling of the night.

Out of view,
the windows open watchful eyes of
midnight blue
flickers from the TV screens.

Like a fugitive I'm
shrinking from the headlight beams.

The things I do
my friends and neighbors fear to ask.

It's nothing new;
I dread the tedious working days.

In my secret life
I'm set in my nocturnal ways.

Nothing much to do
but steal through shafts of light and
dance to Luna's tune
beyond the neighbors' sight.

I love the middle of the night.

Fantasy:
I'm ruler of these empty streets.
My reverie:
the sleeping freeway's hissing drone.

You know darkness is the only time
they ever leave me alone.

Nothing much to do
but steal through shafts of light and
dance to Luna's tune
beyond the neighbors' sight.

Sparring with the air
and sprawled out on the lawn.
I don't even care
if I ever see the dawn.

I love the middle of the night.


LApp: guitar, fretless bass, vocals, drums
Ray Guiser: flute
Jonathan May: cello

Lawrence finishes his one-month hike of the Appalachain Trail

Lawrence is very grateful for the opportunity to live out a life-long dream of hiking on the AT. It was a great experience, full of beautiful scenery, physical challenge, and a deep sense of peace and fulfillment. He'll be back to music-making next week, but is already planning a longer hike for '09. Thanks to all the people who followed his hike and offered their support.

Hiking the Appalachian Trail for 1 Month

Lawrence App is hiking the Appalachian Trail for a month, and documenting his trip in a video blog called Hiking the AT with Laree.

With frequent posts, you can hike vicariously through his updates.

Lawrence is half way through now.

The Multi-Instrumentalist

In an interview with Lawrence, he talked about the instruments he plays.

"I'm actually more out of practice with some instruments now than I was at my peak ten years ago. I've tried not to be quite so much of a jack of all trades. The instruments that I have at least some performing proficiency on are. I consider myself to be primarily a vocalist, with guitar as my main instrument, although I play a number of different guitars within that generic category.

Guitars: I play acoustic and electric guitar. I used to play other things like 12 string guitar and slide. I don't really do that so much any more.

Bass: I play fretted and frettless electric bass and have done quite a few gigs professionally on bass.

Steel Drums: Steel drums are really my second ax right now after guitar.


Keyboards: I also play some key boards.

Drumset: I play trap drums, even got out in public and did that professionally for a little while.

Hand percussion: I play a lot of hand percussion, which I've also backed off of because as I've gotten older I've started having more problems with my hands. So I'm not as anxious to beat on things with my hands. I played congas for quite a few years. Did that professionally. And then a lot of ethnic handdrums:

Djembe, Dumbek, Ashiko drums, Timbales, I don't even know how many percussion instruments, quite a few, if you include the smaller ones as well, probably twenty different percussion items. Shekere, A-Go-Go-Bells. There are so many it's hard to think of them all.

Table? I don't play Tabla. I've always wanted to. It's one of those instruments where the learning curve is pretty steep at the beginning, so I've never gotten past that.

I've played a lot of different instruments, even gotten to a level where I was comfortable enough to go out and do it in public, but like I've said, I'm trying to focus more just on singing and guitar, and steel drums, though I do still play some gigs on bass."

Acculturation

Lawrence App and his band, Windjammer, released Acculturation in 2002. Island and world music --an upbeat mix of reggae, latin, and soukous rhythms with inspiring lyrics.

12 songs were recorded, several of Lawrence's own originals, and some powerful covers.

I Am Somebody by L. Agnostus

We came into this world together
We all wish that we could live forever
Never, never judge a book by its cover
If someone hurts you for now reason'just stop and say ..

I am somebody
I am somebody
I am somebody so you better treat me right.

We all dream of having a bright future
Yet every day we find someone to torture
You've got to be the wise student
To become the teacher.
If someone violates my human rights
I'll stop and say…

I am somebody
I am somebody
I am somebody so you better treat me right

I will sing this song
And I will live forever
I will sing this song
And I will never die 'cause
I am somebody.

by L. Agnostus

(Ain’t Gonna Find) No Peace

(Ain’t Gonna Find) No Peace ©E.Mason/L.App

Soul of my ancestors
Out there among the stars.
I'm writing you to let you know
Mankind is still at war.

Leaders running to and fro
In their quest for peace.
The conference table just ain't able
To muzzle the beast

Yeah, we made a lot of progress
But we're still not civilized.
The law of the jungle still holds true:
Only the strong survive.

Ain't gonna find no peace
Out here in outer space. No we
Ain't gonna find no peace
In the arctic wasteland. No we

Ain't gonna find no peace
Because our mind's not right.
Ain't gonna find no peace
Until we see Jah's light.

Soul of my ancestors
My prayer goes out to you:
Send us strength and guidance
'cause we know not what we do.

Millions starving daily
While we rape our native lands.
Mankind ain't gonna feed his brother
With his head stuck in the sand.

Knowledge is increasing but
We still remain damn fools.
Say of our inventions
We're not masters but their tools.

Eveready

I was looking for a little inspiration and there she was
her smile looked like a private invitation to another world
I sit back and watched the crowd's reaction as she starts to move
Now she's starring as the night's attraction: you'll get everything but the girl.

They call her Eveready, to party through the night
And when she dance Rocksteady she feels alright
I could see she had a craving for attention, a lust for more
One by one she won the men's affection, got their girls upset
But you see it's just a game of exhibition, she'd never take them home
Hidden by the motion and distraction there is something that she must forget.

They call her Eveready to energize
And when she dance Rocksteady she'll hypnotize

Every night I reach that same location, I find her there
Heading up the evening's celebration until the dawn
As daylight caresses the horizon she leaves alone

They call her Eveready to energize
And when she dance Rocksteady there's madness in her eyes
She works like Eveready until the break of day
And though she feels rock steady she turns and walks away.

Lawrence App

Performed by:
LApp: vocals, bass, congas, synth
Eric Mason: drums
Pete Winders: guitars
Ray Guiser: sax
Todd Beals: trumpet
Cat Benson: bg vocals

Windjammer Playing "Great Heart"

Windjammer performing "Great Heart" July 2005 in Florida.

Great Heart by Johnny Clegg

The world is full of strange behavior
Every man has to be his own savior
I know I can make it on my own if I try

But I’m searching for a great heart to stand me by
underneath the African sky
a great heart to stand me by.

I’m searching for the spirit of the great heart
To hold and stand me by
I’m searching for the spirit of the great heart
Under African skies

Sometimes I feel that you really know me
Sometimes there’s so much you can show me.

There’s a highway of stars across the heavens
The whispering song of the wind in the grass
There’s a rolling thunder across the savanna
A hope and a dream at the edge of the sky.

Your life is a story like the wind
Your life is a story like the wind

Chorus

Guk a ‘mzimba
Sala ‘ nhliziyo

I’m searching for the spirit of the great heart
To hold and stand me by
I’m searching for the spirit of the great heart
Under African skies

I’m searching for the spirit of the great heart
I can see the fire in your eyes
I’m searching for the spirit of the great heart
That beats my name inside

Sometimes I feel that you really know me
Sometimes there’s so much you can show me.

©Johnny Clegg

Listen on Stumble Audio

Bassline

The freezing wind burns his face
as the sidewalk leads him on.

His skin turned hard from years in the city.
And dreaming of some distant place
he drifts off like a song--
forgotten but for a trace of a melody.

His memory lives in the bassline.
The city moves to the bassline.
Stripped down to the core,
no time for dreams of home--

Never hears from friends or family.
It washes over him once more,
a wave of solitude--
dissolves into an urban symphony.

His memory lives in the bassline.
The city moves to the bassline.
His heart and soul's in the bassline.
Stay close to the ground with the bassline.

Maybe some bright and sunny day
His voice will rise above the crowd,
but when the smoke has cleared away
his roots live underground.

His memory lives in the bassline.
The city moves to the bassline.
His heart and soul's in the bassline.
Stay close to the ground with the bassline.


©Lawrence App

Performing this song:
LApp: vocals, bass, congas, programming
Eric Mason: drums
Pete Winders: guitars
Ray Guiser: sax
Todd Beals: trumpet

Windjammer & Lawrence App, Acculturation Photo Shoot

The musicians in Windjammer standing next to the washed out pillars of an ocean side pier in Florida.

Tell The Truth

You said you wouldn't be too late--needed to take a walk and think things over.
We just can't agree--every time we talk I end up hurt and confused.
You look far away--I can't help thinking of the comfort I might find in another.

Love's not a game--even though sometimes I win, usually I lose.
You try to put the blame on me
when you're the one who worries about being free

Tell the truth--my sweet mama
Tell the truth--are you leaving soon
Tell the truth--you won't say it but I can feel it across the room

Tell the truth--baby, baby
Tell the truth--don't say that its no use
Tell the truth--let's talk things over
pretty mama please tell the truth.

We said we couldn't carry on--needed some space to see who would decide
who'll give in first--blaming each other just looking for an excuse
to go our own ways--even though commitment's not a matter of taking sides

We let fear and pride--put us in a place neither one of us would choose
I beg you, tell it to me straight:
are we going on or is it just too late?

Chorus

You won't tell me was it something that I said
You can't convince me that it's all just in my head
Tell the truth. . .


©Lawrence App

Song performed by:

LApp: vocals, bass, congas, programming
Eric Mason: drums, vocal
Pete Winders: guitars, vocal
Ray Guiser: sax
Pete Waidelich: trumpet
Cat Benson: vocal

It's Easy

It was the first time that I set out on my own,
thought I'd make my mark.
Now I'm wishing I were safely back at home,
I'm groping in the dark.

Time...heals everything.
Time...it's the cure.

It's easy smiling when things have gone my way.
It's easy speaking when there's nothing more to say.
It's easy loving you after love has gone away
otherwise it's hard.

I thought I'd prove I need nobody else,
I found out I was wrong.
No man's an island, no man's made of stone;
I know I'm not that strong.

Time...heals everything.
Time...it's the cure.
Time...softens every rough edge.
Time...it's for sure.

Chorus

It was the last time that I set out on my own
and leave my friends behind.
I've got no use for a heart that's made of stone;
the struggle's in my mind.

Time...


©Lawrence App

Song performed by:
LApp: vocals, bass, acoustic guitar, percussion
Eric Mason: drums
Pete Winders: guitars
Ray Guiser: EWI
Tomás Orta: congas, Brazilian percussion

Concrete Jungle, by Bob Marley

No sun will shine on my day today.
The high yellow moon won’t come out to play.
Darkness has covered my life
and my day has turned into night.

Where is the love to be found?
Won’t someone tell me ‘cause life (sweet life)
must be somewhere to be found.

In this concrete jungle
where the living is hardest.
In this here concrete jungle—
Man, you got to do your best.

No chains around my feet but I’m not free
I know I am bound here in captivity.
Never know what happiness is.
Never know your sweet caresses.

I’ll be always laughing like a clown.
Won’t someone help me ‘cause life
Must be somewhere to be found.
In this concrete jungle

what do you got for me now?
In this here concrete jungle
why won’t you let me be?
In this concrete jungle

I say we’re living in darkness.
In this here concrete jungle
confusion, confusion.

©1973 Bob Marley

Listen on Stumble Audio

Follow

Brother--you're a hero on the street
Pure ambition and you won't admit defeat
The distant roadsign must not be of much concern
'cause life's distractions gonna make you miss your turn.

You've got to follow the narrow road.
You've got to follow the narrow road.

Sister--you're a creature of the night.
Cool, baby...not easy to excite.
Heads turning--ooh, you're looking oh so nice.
Tell me, tell me: was it worth the sacrifice?

You've got to follow the narrow road.
You've got to follow the narrow road.

Sense of direction's more confusing every day.
Jammed on the highway, cruising in the passing lane.
Better use caution as you're rounding that next curve.
Head-on collision just might make you lose your nerve;
which master will you serve?

You've got to follow the narrow road.
You've got to follow the narrow road.
You've got to follow what you believe is right.
You've got to follow the dark into light.

You've got to follow.


©Lawrence App

Performing the song:
LApp: vocals, bass, programming
Eric Mason: drums
Pete Winders: guitars
Ray Guiser: sax
Todd Beals: trumpet
Rob Caban: congas

Noadon Filoké

Noadon filoké
'cause I heard someone talking.
Noadon filoké
and they don't mean a word.

Fill the air with empty conversations (talk, talk, talk)
and speculate on everbody's doings.
Pondering domestic revolution
amidst the ruins.

Noadon filoké
'cause I heard someone crying.
Noadon filoké
and they don't shed a tear.

Lost in dreams of what life had to offer; (talk, talk, talk)
our leaders promised us a brighter days.
Now we are the ones left to suffer
as the dream slips away.

Noadon filoké
'cause I hear someone laughing.
Noadon filoké
and they're laughing at me.

I don't find security in numbers. (talk, talk, talk)
The beaten path I don't choose to follow.
I watch a race of people going under--
their soul's so hollow.

Noadon filoké.
Noadon filoké
'cause I saw someone dying.
Noadon filoké
and they don't make a sound.
Noadon filoké.


©Lawrence App

Performing on the Acculturation CD:
LApp: vocals, bass, programming
Eric Mason: drums
Pete Winders: guitars, vocal
Ray Guiser: sax
Todd Beals: trumpet
Tomás Orta: congas

Lawrence App, age 8 from "Woodsong"

His love for the woods started young, as seen in this photo of Lawrence at age 8. This image is from a book called Woodsong, with verse by Jim Spry, photos by Mark Helfer, and published by the American Forestry Service in 1969. More to come...

On the Outdoor Stage at Heron Cabin, Alexander NC

Lawrence App Quartet "Spirit Tree" video

Lawrence App Steel Drum solo on Bob Marley's "Jammin": Fairview NC 08.16.08

Lawrence App's Bio

Lawrence App grew up in a musical family in the Washington DC area. He studied piano and voice throughout high school, but was self-taught on guitar. He played 12 string acoustic guitar and wrote over a hundred original songs before he was 18.

He was a member of the local band Brew which played original music as well as covers. (shown in the photo to the left)

In 1974, he began touring and performing with several Jazz, Latin, and show groups.

Lawrence relocated to Florida in 1980 and that same year co-founded the pop-Caribbean group Windjammer, a band he still performs with today. During the ‘80s, Lawrence made several regionally successful recordings with Windjammer and appeared on MTV Spring Break in Daytona productions. His three albums, Going Down to the Beach (1986), Jammin’ and Groovin’(1987), and Reggae in the U.S.A.(1989), sold over 10,000 copies.

Beside being a featured concert act in their own right, Lawrence and Windjammer shared the bill with many top acts including The Average White Band, the Wailers, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. (see color photo below in 1990 opening for the Red Hot Chili Peppers)

While most of the 90s were spent on higher education, Lawrence continued to perform regularly, although his focus began to shift away from Windjammer and towards work as a jazz sideman or performing his own eclectic songs. By now he was an accomplished vocalist, guitarist, and bass player and through formal study, expanded his ability to read and apprehend advanced theoretical structures. He also began to develop other musical directions, particularly in percussion. He worked for several years as an accompanist on hand drums for modern dance and also started performing on the steel drums in earnest.

Since 1997, Lawrence’s main commercial outlet has been solo work in the Orlando market and other high-end resorts in the Southeast. Freedom from his responsibilities as a full-time bandleader has allowed him to concentrate on writing, recording and performing his own material.

He has produced five CDs in the last six years covering styles from jazz and world music to death-metal. Although Lawrence is proficient on ten different instruments, guitar is still his first love.

His main inspiration comes from people like John Scofield, Charlie Hunter, and Bill Frissell. He also listens to Papa Wemba, Gilberto Gil, and Kurt Elling for vocal inspiration. With the completion of Dark Into Light, Lawrence recorded a video with his quartet. See Laree's YouTube Channel.

The Dream of Separation was released in 2007. Several of the songs are viewable on YouTube as well.

Lawrence App's Education

Lawrence began study of piano at age nine, picked up guitar at age eleven, and continued with voice training throughout high school. After fifteen years on the road as a performer he returned to college in 1989, earning a B.M. degree in Jazz Studies from the University of North Florida. While there he studied under Jack Petersen, Bunky Green, Bill Prince, and the late Rich Matteson. He was named Music Scholar of the Year in 1993.

Lawrence continued on to post-graduate study at the Florida State University earning a Master of Musicology degree in ethnomusicology under the tutelage of Dale Olsen and Michael Bakan. While at FSU he was awarded several teaching assistantships, attended and presented papers at the annual SEM conferences, and took special courses from Robert Ferris Thompson and Paul Berliner. He completed both graduate and undergrad studies with a 4.0 cumulative gpa.

Lawrence continued on to teach music at Daytona Beach Community College for six years. While there he developed pedagogy for the guitar program, directed and wrote arrangements for the guitar ensemble, founded a steelband, and developed other courses in world music and music technology. The past few years, Lawrence’s education has continued through focus on digital arts, particularly audio, MIDI, graphic design and web development. He currently teaches a small private studio of advanced guitar and bass students.

Research done by Lawrence App

Early in his musical career, Lawrence began informal study of jazz and Latin musics, focusing primarily on historical and performance aspects. As an undergraduate, his research was concerned primarily with educational theory and pedagogy, while he also conducted study of performance practices and their relation to audience perception and the affective domain.

Following his long-standing interest in musics of the African-Atlantic diaspora, his post-graduate research covered many areas of the “Black Atlantic.” His primary research focused on Afro-Caribbean music, particularly the music of Trinidad and the steelband movement. His thesis, The Professionalization and Commodification of Steel Drum Music in Florida: Musical Continuity and Change in the Caribbean Diaspora was completed in 1997. He also conducted extensive research on Afro-Colombian music resulting in an article “Afro-Colombian Traditions” which was published in The Garland Encyclopedia of World Music, vol. 2: South America, Mexico, Central America, and the Caribbean.

Lawrence has also conducted research and written papers on Nigerian jujú, South African mbaqanga, American jazz, and Jamaican reggae. He continues to conduct fieldwork in the Florida-Caribbean diaspora.

Lawrence App Sites

WEBSITES, BLOGS, YOUTUBE & MYSPACE

Lawrence App Official Website

Lawrence App Blog

To Purchase CDs at CDBaby

MYSPACE Page

Lawrence App and Windjammer YouTube Channel

Windjammer Band Website

About Windjammer, The Band

Windjammer has been performing for close to thirty years. The Florida-based pop Caribbean group was the first full-time ensemble of its kind, performing in the northern half of the state, and has proven not only to be quite durable, but continues to set the musical pace for many other groups.

Over the years Windjammer's personnel has changed, but the current line-up of Lawrence "Laree" App (bass, lead vocals and the original member), Peet Winders (lead guitar, vocals), and Eric Mason (drums and vocals) have been together for over 8 years now--longer than any of the other WJ groups. Additionally, the fourth member, Joe Yorio (saxophone, EWI, vocals) joined the fellas in 2006. Although many talented musicians have played in Windjammer over the years, App says, "this group is the best by far. The guys are all great musicians and we work together so well. No ego hassles at all. And the drive and the versatility of this group is amazing."

After being based in Jacksonville for six years, the band shifted its focus back to central Florida (where it was based from 1982-91) six years ago. This, in part, through the relocation of App from Jax Beach to Ormond, and in part to put the band closer to more markets for performing. During this season Windjammer has performed from Tampa to St. Simons GA and everywhere in between. Although three of the members now reside in Volusia County, Windjammer still performs regularly in northeast Florida due to the fan base they've built over the years.

In addition to the geographical shift of the band in '97-98, the mission and performance strategy of the group changed as well. After becoming more of a cover band in the early '90s, Windjammer went back to focusing on their original material.

Part of this change involved limiting the live appearances by the group, a move that has made everyone happier. "We had to get more selective, more focused, " says App. "We were drifting towards becoming another bar band instead of playing the stuff the got us known in the first place."

This shift also coincided with the 1998 release of The Best of Windjammer CD, a 15-song retrospective that has been widely praised. Sales from the CD and a lighter gig schedule have allowed the fellas time to concentrate more on songwriting and recording. The quartet currently has two new CDs available: one CD is a four-song EP of "death metal meets soca" released pseudononymously, and the other is a full length CD of more mainstream Windjammer original material mixed with covers.

Meditating

This image is the back drop of Lawrence's MySpace site, if you can see it through all music, notes, friends, photos, notes and all.

It's a really cool picture looking like he's meditating high up in the mountains around cloud level, surrounded by his instruments and amplifier. Count 'em: at least two acoustic guitars, looks like an electric guitar, and maybe a base, three hand drums and another percussion instrument!

Looks like he's sitting at the gray cloud level, and behind and above him the clouds are clearing.

In Dream of Separation, Lawrence has one song very directly influenced by Zen Buddhism, "Gatha Walking."

Here's what he says about it on the CD notes. Note that he says there are four refrains each one pointing to a different musical area: North Africa, Turkey, Java, and India. (Who does this kind of stuff, linking the world's music in a song!?)

"Gatha Walking: I owe this one to Ezra and Elizabeth. I was at a Zen retreat in Santa Rosa and we were given this verse to silently chant as we did walking meditation. For me, the easiest way to remember the verses was to create a little tune in my head. The song has four refrains, each one pointing to a different musical area. The cycle is North Africa, Turkey, Java, and India. The arrangements are hopefully capture the flavor of these areas but are not intended to be completely accurate."

Endless.... North Carolina Mountains

Musical Influences

In Lawrence App's MySpace page he lists the following dozens of musical influences, starting with John Lennon and Joni Mitchell, and, Kurt Elling:

Meshell Ndegeocello, almost every serious guitarist, Sylvia Plath, Marley, John Scofield, Papa Wemba, Tom Waits, Charlie Hunter, Johnny Clegg, Sting, Gomez, Billy Collins, Gilberto Gil, Airto, Milton Nascimento, Lenny Breau, FZ, Don van Vliet, Duke Ellington, Wes, Stevie Wonder (70s), Pat Martino, Ornette.

Lawrence App Performing in Fairview, North Carolina

Beach Music comes to the Mountains at the Fairview Community Luau. Lawrence App is bringing his steel drums and music from the Florida beaches to Fairview North Carolina for the Fairview Community Luau.

Saturday August 16th from 4:30 - 9:00PM.

It's at the Fairview Community Center at 1357 Charlotte Hwy in Fairview, North Carolina. (GoogleMap)

828-393-0099

Asian Musical Influences in Dream of Separation

WV: You've studied music from many cultures during your graduate studies in ethnomusicology. African. Caribbean. Indonesian. In Dream of Separation your musical influences are Asian, you've mentioned Persian and Indian. Can you talk about the influences of musical traditions other than your Anglo-European or Anglo-American heritage in your CD.

LA: On The Dream of Separation there are other musical influences coming in, besides the traditional ones, from my culture, whatever that is at this point, the Anglo-European culture.

They're really just, I don't know how to put it in words, they are really just other colors on my palette that I like to use. There are some times that are an exception like "Timeless", which was when I was with Windjammer, which was full on in the 80s when I was trying to and writing Reggae tunes. But a lot of the influences on Dream of Separation are Asian influences, the Persian stuff we talked about last time. The Indian stuff which isn't new to me, but I kind of went back and looked at that. As well as some South East Asian stuff which I studied with Michael Bakan, in particular, doing the gamelan. There's other stuff too. I've become more interested in Japanese music because of my interest in Zen.

But with any of those styles, I'm not trying to cop the musical style, or create a believable Indian Raga, or Gamelan piece or anything like that. I'm not even really trying to create an authentic hybrid. They are just sound influences. But it's not random, really. It's not like I'm just pulling digital samples out of a sound bank, thinking "Oh, a Sitar would sound nice here." It does relate to the mood of what I'm trying to get across.

I guess a number of the types of Asian music, and it could just be my Western bias, but a lot of the music that I listen to has a mystical quality that I like that I'm trying to go for in my personal life and in my music.

Now that I mentioned this... I wanted the balance between, to me, what is the organic rootsy quality of my own musical experience, in particular acoustic guitar and live drums, and acoustic bass when possible, acoustic instruments and the music pared down to almost a folkie quality, but then.. I wanted on the one side a folkie quality, for me anyway, and then having the more mystical dimension of these Eastern influences thrown in. I shouldn't say thrown in, they weren't thrown in, they were carefully arranged, yes carefully arranged.

Shining Rock Wilderness, North Carolina

August 2004

Fall colors on Blue Ridge Parkway

Fall colors on Blue Ridge Parkway near mm 373 in NC. Photo by Lawrence App Oct 2007.

The Songs on The Dream of Separation CD

By Lawrence App, Also from The Dream of Separation Website.

Notes on the Music

Just a Beginning: I wrote this at the end of a long dry spell, agonizing to get some music out. Reminds me of the saying that “the first step is the hardest one we take on any journey.” All the mental gymnastics and doubt freezes simple action. The lyric refers to my own creative process but also some life changes I was reluctant to make. Musically, the tune modulates between three keys, never really settling on a tonic per se. It creates a cyclic restlessness that I like.

Green: This tune came to me suddenly almost all in one piece—quite a contrast to the previous song. Kinda sorry about the timing, as the term “green” is so trendy right now it seems like a marketing cliché. Oh well, this has nothing to do with that. In this context, the prevailing meaning of “green” is to be teachable, to be flexible and not so rigid in my beliefs. To me, it’s a very sweet tune—simple and full of wonder.

Spirit Tree: I wrote this song while camping on Cumberland Island, trying to make peace with myself and some family issues. The concept was inspired by the poetry of Rumi and I wanted a Persian feel to the music (I was listening to Radio Darvish every morning). As with a lot of these tunes, the music sounds deceptively simple but there’s a lot of odd chord things going on—more restlessness. It really about what happens after utter defeat and going to God/the Source/Whatever for solace.

Wash Him Down: I wrote this song for my father, Jimmy. I struggled for many years with my relationship to him, even after his death—wishing we had been closer but not wanting to become like him. During some powerful shamanistic-healing-therapy stuff, one day I had an opening and I finally got it: I felt like I could really see what his life was about, experience his pain, forgive him (and myself) and move on. This song is obviously written in allegory, but it’s about the wheel of samsara. It’s about the cycles of pain that we perpetuate in ourselves and pass along to our children. Billy and Big Al did such a great job on this tune. Thank you.

Sixty-Eight Eighty-Four: It’s the measurement of Mt. Mitchell, the highest point in the eastern US. This is probably the only “happy” tune on the album. Mitchell is only about 30 miles from my home in Asheville and it’s always been a special place for me. Some believe it’s a sacred point on the earth—I wouldn’t dispute it. So sad to see the balsam trees die off, on their way to extinction. This track was pretty much recorded live and I hope doesn’t sound too Methenyish. Lotsa chords and keys and rhythms and crazy stuff.

Roseanne’s Dream (part 2): It’s kinda crazy to release part 2 before part 1, but I’m just not ready to put part 1 out there yet. This tune is for my mother. She’s always been a great music lover—introduced me to many artists I still listen to today. Sadly, she’s been afflicted with dementia and lives in that twilight region of consciousness that is aware but just can’t quite connect it all anymore. I tried to musically capture something both sweet and sad, beautiful and eerie. The tune moves through several key centers but really isn’t in any key. It’s like a dangling, lost melody that never quite completes itself.

Loss and Separation: I wrote this song the day before sessions for recording The Dream were to begin. I’d just received a disturbing, hateful email from my daughter basically cementing our estrangement. I sat on the pillow trying to make sense of it all: the senseless anger, my own bewilderment and hurt feelings, the deep sense of sadness. I realized that this whole collection of songs is really about that experience. I remembered Ezra’s frequent reminders that these difficulties are our path and, though it’s not what I would have chosen, by just being with the sadness I gained a genuine sense of what I wanted to say with this album.

Nothin’ Sacred: There’s plenty of issues that need our help these days—energy, climate change, human rights, overpopulation, etc.—but the one that’s always hit closest for me is preservation of wilderness. This song, like “Green,” came to me all at once while I was driving down I-26. I saw where they had blasted the top off a hill to build yet another Best Buy-Target-Lowes shopping complex. I felt so sad and angry. When is enough, enough? Where will the madness end?

Gatha Walking: I owe this one to Ezra and Elizabeth. I was at a Zen retreat in Santa Rosa and we were given this verse to silently chant as we did walking meditation. For me, the easiest way to remember the verses was to create a little tune in my head. The song has four refrains, each one pointing to a different musical area. The cycle is North Africa, Turkey, Java, and India. The arrangements are hopefully capture the flavor of these areas but are not intended to be completely accurate.

This last section of three tunes on The Dream is composed of older tunes that I either reworked or completed for this album.

Coldly: I wrote this in 1972 when I was 16, slightly reworking the lyrics a few years ago. I don’t know why I never recorded this piece; never even wrote it down. It seems to fit in with the theme of The Dream nicely. Even though it’s a fairly simple tune, it’s interesting that I was using 9th and 11th chords before I even knew what they were. BTW, the string quartet is only samples—sorry. Pretty nice ones though.

Timeless: Wrote this one in ’87 at the height of my reggae phase, but it was too much of a downer to mix in a Windjammer project. It still seems pretty relevant: I don’t see much relief from life’s hectic pace or my use of time, but I hope I have a better sense of what’s really important than I did 20 years ago.

Into Night: This is one of those tunes I really didn’t want to write. It’s just too painful and personal. I probably started on it 15 years ago and put it down countless times, only to have its ugly head reared up saying “remember me?” It’s a composite of experiences all with the common theme of going back to reconcile something—a relationship, a move—but never finding closure. It’s like the only thing harder than saying good-bye is not saying good-bye. So maybe getting this tune out is my way of making peace with all life’s unfinished business.

Special Bonus: If you got as far as the “bonus hidden track” then you already know what it is and why it’s there.

My Spiritual Journey

By Lawrence App, also from The Dream of Separation Website:

For those of you who don’t know and may be curious about what I’m about and how I got to this point.

I suppose I was a spiritual seeker from early in my life, marveling at the wonders of nature and mystery of the Church. I became indoctrinated by my family’s church and spent a good part of my youth as an altar boy, singing in the choir, and in the youth group.

I don’t really know what my beliefs were. I wanted to believe, but I was shaken and disillusioned by a series of indiscretions by several clergy close to me.

Perhaps it was all just an excuse for doing as I wished. I went on the road with a rock band at age 18 lived the prodigal life for many years. During this period I lived in chaos passing for excitement. I consciously cultivated a nihilistic philosophy and was heavily influenced by books like “The Oblivion Seekers” and C Bukowski.

[more to come]

Intro to Dream of Separation CD

By Lawrence App, from The Dream of Separation Website:

The Dream of Separation.

The title was inspired by a concept common to several strains of Eastern thought and religion. In this belief, our perceptions of being an entity separate and apart from the physical world, our fellow humans, god, and even parts of ourselves is an illusion, the 100-year dream of the ego that we call “life.” When we awaken from the dream we see our true nature as oneness, the fullness of god and creation within every creature.

Many of the songs in this collection may seem sad or depressing. The period of time when most of them were written I was coming to terms with my father’s death, my mother succumbing to dementia, estrangement from family and friends due to addiction and mental illness, and a loss of direction in my own life. Grief and disillusion seemed to reign supreme.

But out of all this, this theme of loss and separation, came a new aspiration to awaken from the dream. Often these very painful experiences that I would most like to avoid have helped me to find strength and wholeness that I never knew existed in me. I can still fall asleep so easily, but I hope this album may inspire others to awaken when things seem darkest, and perhaps you can help me when life hits me and I forget all this.

Musically, I wanted The Dream to be pretty straightforward: acoustic guitar and voice; singer-songwriter stuff that I could do live. The songs are still more than “3-chord specials” but I wanted the tunes and the poetry to be the focus rather than a lot of arrangement and soloing. I could cite so many influences: Billy Collins, Richard Wilbur, Rumi on the lyrical side; Kurt Elling, Sting, on the musical side. But my true hero (or heroine in this case) is Joni Mitchell. If I were to dedicate this album to anyone it would be her. I’ve been a fan of her music for many years, but rediscovering the incandescent albums Blue through Hejira opened my heart and mind about songwriting again, and gave me courage to put my own soul out here for inspection.

As far as credits and thank you’s I could go on and on. Special thanks to all the musicians who participated on this project: Peter, Billy, Joe, Scott, Big Al. Thanks to many friends for their encouragement and support, especially Ron, Harry, Anora, Danny, Phil, James, Peetie, Tom and Kathi. And thanks to Patricia for standing beside me through a lot of tedium and frustration. Special thanks also to Ezra and Elizabeth for the verse to “Gatha” and to Ezra for his seemingly endless patience with me.

Into Night

She looked so far away
like a picture lost without a frame.
Some mem’ries I buried in a drawer
came back to life today—
I held her hand once more.

Never thought that we would be so close again
after the absence of the years.
Takes me back to when I was a younger man
full of hopefulness and fear.

I feel her breathing.
The blood in her veins
washes away memory of how she went away.

We walk along the shore
in December although it looks like rain.
Weave a path like pairs of migratory birds
taking flight into the grey—
to hide the loss for words.

As the tide erased our footprints in the sand
we tried to trace our way back home.
This reunion isn’t going like we planned:
reminded that we walk alone.

I hear her crying
softly as rain.
Some things left unspoken just don’t go away.

Remember swimming in the river, so cool and green,
on Sundays far away from town?
And when the ring slipped off her finger, diving deeper down
saw one last flash of light
before it sank beyond our sight.

Dreamed I was falling,
caught in mid-air.
I woke up sweating but she wasn’t there.

Before I closed the book my heart needs to be sure.
I had to see her one more time.
We did the one thing that we never could before
we finally said goodbye.

I hear her leaving
long before dawn.
No need to tell me that she’s gone.

I walk the beach alone
like a drifter looking for a home
in the rows of clouds that look like palisades
on the shoreline of my dreams.
I watch them slowly fade,
fade endlessly into night.

©2005 LApp

Cold Outside

The bitter sound of wind through the leafless trees
On the ground, sparrows huddled up against the freeze
I drift away like snow up the side of the hill
Remember days we had flowers on the window sill.

Do you think that I’m crazy
when I tell you there’s fire that’s frozen inside.

The cold wind blows, cuts me right to the bone.
No one knows how my heart is tired of bring alone.
You light the flame that brings the spark back to life
and call my name in this dark and endless winter’s night.

Do you think that I love you?
Well, I tell you the words must be frozen inside.

The bitter sound of limbs breaking through the ice.
Greys and browns tangled on the frosted window glass.
Trapped inside with loneliness as my friend.
Can’t decide to open up the door and let you in.

Do you think that I need you?
Well, I tell you my love must be frozen inside.

©1972 LApp

Timeless

It's the time of day
that I need someone.
When I rise and shine
your already gone.
So much things to do;
got the bills to pay.
It's a busy life.
The time slips away.

Seems we're always sayin' goodbye--
someone's leaving.
Be assured we'll make it through
but is it worth believing?
I don't know
where the time goes.
I just keep on hanging on
waiting 'til the time we say hello.

It's the time of night
lovers entwine.
Though I want you so
we just can't find the time.
In the space between
there must be a compromise
to ease the loneliness
that I see in your eyes.

Chorus

It's the time of year--
spring is in the air.
Lovers arm in arm--
it's just like we don't care.
As I hold you near
you look so far away.
Time takes its toll:
there's nothing left to say, except

that we'll be saying goodbye--
someone's leaving.
Be assured we'll make it through
but is it worth believing?
I don't know
where the time goes.
I just keep on hanging on
waiting 'til the time we say hello. Please don't go.

©1987 Lawrence App

Nothin Sacred

Staring at the sky, hoping for some rain
The tears well in my eyes—wash away this pain.
Trouble in the air—the smell of burning trees.
They stripped the hillsides bare, spreading the disease.

You tell me nothin’s sacred.
I don’t believe that it’s true.
If there’s nothin’ sacred
you know that we’re all through.

Staring at the sky, forgotten how to pray.
A deeper shade of blue fades into the grey.
Rows of trophy homes convenient to the mall:
but just like cancer loves the bone, feed it to the sprawl.

You tell me nothin’s sacred.
I don’t believe that it’s true.
If there’s nothin’ sacred
you know that we’re all through.

©2005 LApp

Loss and Separation

Cloudless, starless, helpless, emptiness.
Nothing left to cling to but my old ways.
Trying desperately to make these feelings go away.

Thoughtless, heartless, leafless wilderness.
Watching how the tender heart grows cold.
Even April’s tender blossoms wither and grow old.

Nameless, shapeless, confess always less.
Running ever faster just to catch up to my fears.
Never find the answer between the joy and tears.

Endless darkness, hopeless, groundlessness.
In everything we’ve lost we’re reminded what we gained.
This feeling of apartness really makes us more the same.

©2007 LApp

Wash Him Down

He lifts the rain with just one hand,
saluting the sky.
For fifteen years he watched his father’s land
now the clouds bid him goodbye.
The sweet green fields have been reduced to dust--
they barely had survived.
Now the rains wash out everything
and the muddy waters rise.

It’s gonna wash him down.
It’s gonna break him down.
When the skies open wide
and roots pull from the ground
the wheel of life keeps turning ‘round.

Remembered when he owned a saxophone
and practiced it for hours.
Playin’ Coltrane and the country blues
among the rows of flowers.
Til mama handed him the keys one day
and said “we really need you here.”
His hands grew thick like his father’s hands
now he cries his daddy’s tears.

Chorus

He says forgive for what I didn’t know
and what I’ve never been.
The muddy water curls down the drain
as it washes off my skin.
In the evening hear the locusts’ song
keening sweet and low like violins.
Spirit voices lead him down the road:
He had to feel his daddy’s pain
Not to live it out again.

Chorus

He only prayed for a little rain.

©2003 LApp

Green

Green, all I see is green—
tiny buds and blossoms
opening to Spring.
I’ll lay down in the grass, cross my arms behind my head
fold my jacket for a pillow, forget everything I said.
Staring into nothing and everything.
Bending like a willow in the winds of time
if I can just stay green.

Green, the water is so green.
Tiny fish and bubbles
adrift in the saline.
Floatin’ on my belly givin’ gravity a break
feels like I’m dreaming but I’m wide awake.
Swimming past the shallows into the deep.
Flowing like a wave into a sea of life
if I can just stay green.

When I walk the city sidewalks know it brings me down
the color of my dreams turn black, grey, and brown.
With my head so full I cannot see a thing
until I learn the art of forgetting.

Green, color me in green.
Emerald and verdigris and every shade between.
When my days are over and you lay me in the ground
cover me with clover far away from town
and let the grass grow way up high
and cover me in green.
Lingering after sunset like a flash of light
if I can just stay green.

©2005 L.App

Just a Beginning

It was time to start spending all the rainy days
and a time to start mending all the fences that I break
The day to start naming all the voices in my head.
and a day for reclaiming all the dreams I left for dead.

I waited way too long looking for a sign
like a comet in the sky
or maybe something simpler like the candlelight.
Don’t want to let it pass me by.

It was time to reassemble all the pieces on the floor
A time to stop blaming circumstance beyond control
It was time for the first step down that long and muddy road
A time to launch my prospect into the great unknown.

Just a beginning, a place to start.
I just need the beginning, some place to start.

It was time to start listening to the wisdom of the heart.
Forget about the ending, just help me make a start.
It was time to stop remembering all the thing I might have been.
Just push me off the platform if that’s how it must begin.

I waited all my life looking for a sign
like a twinkling in your eye
or maybe something clear like writing in the sand.
Don’t want to let it pass me by.

Just a beginning, a place to start.
I just need the beginning, some place to start.

©2004 LApp

Nolichucky Gorge

Nolichucky River Gorge from the A.T., south of Erwin, TN. Photo by Lawrence App. May 2008

Inside a Song: "Spirit Tree"

Content from an interview with Lawrence App about "Spirit Tree" one of 12 (+) songs on his 2007 CD Dream of Separation.

WV: Tell us about Spirit Tree? What inspired it? What influences are in it? What parts you especially like...

LA: At the time, I was reading a book of Rumi's poetry. He used the image of a tree that really moved me. It was getting into the hot time of year in Florida.

Sometimes ideas for songs, the inspiration, comes in a more impressionistic, more intuitive way, rather than specific concepts linked in a linear way.

I was feeling a certain amount of sadness and loss. And also just being worn out from trying to fix things and make them go my way; specifically with my relationship with my daughter, and my job at the community college, a number of different battlegrounds that I had chosen, and would fight. Of course you never really win at those things

Rumi's idea of a tree being a symbol of god or the spirit, as a place of refuge was my starting point for Spirit Tree.

I was also listening to an internet radio station, Radio Darvish, playing Persian music. I probably listened to it every morning for at least an hour for a couple of years.

So between Rumi's poetry, and the Persian music, a mix of Persian influences was coming in, and that was the impressionistic start of it.

Writing the Song. When I actually started writing the tune, the guitar lick that starts the song and is the motif that runs throughout. It was actually something that came out at random. Between my breaks while playing at Bahama Breeze, while noodling around on my breaks, that riff came out. I kept playing it over and over, it was stuck in my head. These things kind of came together.

I had a clear idea somewhere in me of what i wanted, but getting it to come out the way I wanted it to took a lot of work. I don't know why, some tunes just come out easily, other ones just take so much work. I labored over that tune for 4 or 6 months. I had parts of it, but it wasn't satisfactory...part of it was the lyrics, trying to get the ideas across, the feeling of utter defeat or surrender. "admit that I have failed' and "victim of my passions, my own worst enemy."

Sometimes I have to, for the cadence of the song, not use proper English, saying I am my own worst enemy. I was coming to that realization and trying to get those ideas across, really very heavy ideas, but still keep the lyrics poetic, keep the flow poetic, keep the imagery consistent so it doesn't sound like a psychology text.

I remember another influence as far as the lyrics. I was reading the poetry of Billy Collins, at that time Nine Horses. There were specific poems by both Rumi and Billy Collins that impressed me deeply. I can look them up.

About the Music. One thing I was really happy with was the bridge and the transition afterward. The verses as they run are fairly flowing. Then in the bridge, the music becomes increasingly dissonant. The energy becomes more angst-full, expressing even more irritation, even anger, both in the lyrics and in the music, the saxophone solo.

I had a fun time writing the chords. They are not traditional chords. Even explaining to the musicians working on it, don't look for traditional chords on this, they aren't. We recorded this song in a live video session, years before recording it in the studio. And when I saw the video, it really struck me how the middle section is so dissonant and pent up and tense, and then the music comes back down to rest. There's a kind of a pause before the last verse.

I just really like the way the sax trails off and settles down to this.. it's like a big breath, "ahhhh." OK.

I don't think I realized the value until the last few years, that when things are difficult, or even when I'm trying to just be present to what's going on, to stop and be aware of the breath.

There's a fairly conscious effort on my part in the music that I write and even that I play to not be so busy. For a long time I felt because I could do so many things and had learned so much about music and could play all these different things, that I had to cram every song full of as much as I possibly could to prove myself. I feel like I've gotten past that to an extent.

Rather than show what I know I feel it's important to give space for the music to breathe, so what is there can come out.

A lot of times people... myself included, either they can't and don't want to hear all this stuff going on...There's a place for that, for music that's very dense and has a lot of layers of things going on, I'm sure I'll do more of it myself.

More to come.

Spirit Tree Lyrics

Spirit tree, may I lie down in your shade?
I'm hot and tired, my clothes are torn,
can't go another day.
Cooling in your shadow, admit that I have failed and
watch my apprehension suspended in your green.
Can I lay down in your bed of grass and roof of leaves?

Spirit tree -- shelter from the day.
That evil sun, unblinking eye,
I'll make him take the blame.
A victim of my passions, the voice of no restraint;
feverish obsessions, my own worst enemy
Will you lead me down a path of songs
to a field of dreams?

Kerosene flowing in my veins
The heated words, the angry lies,
I'm too close to the flame.
A primitive reaction poisoning my brain and
clouding up my vision - burns like acrolene.

Spirit tree, your branches open wide.
Hold me close and bring me water,
my throat is clenched and dry.
Beyond your shadow we all come back to you:
the grasses bow their heads in prayer,
heavy with the dew.
Will you dress me in your robe of clouds and hat of sky?


©2004 LApp